A Twist on the Bucket List

Remember the movie The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman? It went like this: Corporate billionaire Edward Cole and working class mechanic Carter Chambers had nothing in common except for their terminal illnesses. While sharing a hospital room together, they decide to leave it and do all the things they have ever wanted to do before they die according to their bucket list. In the process, both of them heal each other, become unlikely friends, and ultimately find joy in life. Since then many people have come up with their own “bucket lists” and in fact, I was involved in a LinkedIN Bucket List that a member on a “TED Group” started. He was trying to make it the world’s largest collaborative bucket list.

But what if we changed the bucket list into something different? What if we made the bucket list into who we want to become vs. what we want to do in life? How would that change things? This was a question that was asked of me this past weekend and I’ve put a lot of thought into it. I’m guessing at this moment you might have some thoughts about this too…

  

Here are some of the things that are on my bucket list of who I want to become (and who I hope I already am). You may have similar wants and you may have additional wants. This is where it gets fun! Not every person is the same and that’s what makes it so interesting! So in the comments section below, I think it would be great fun to hear everyone’s top ideas of who they want to become or already are!

Now on to my list:

Be a GREAT person in all my interpersonal relationships – to me this means being an AMAZING mom, a SUPPORTIVE and LOVING wife, an AWESOME grandma, a daughter parents can be PROUD of, a sister who can be COUNTED ON, and a TRUE friend. Sometimes interpersonal relationships can be tricky and can take a lot of effort on our part. I can remember growing up and thinking my best friend was the most important person in my life to me. We did everything together and nothing could come between us. To this day we are still friends. There was a time during my courtship with my husband where my total focus was on him and nothing and no one else and all other relationships were set aside (I’m embarrassed to say!) As I’ve grown older I’ve found a balance between all my interpersonal relationships. I LOVE the time I spend being a mom! I LOVE the time I have being a wife, a daughter, a GRANDMA, a sibling and a friend! I think it’s important to find the right balance and to make every moment we spend in our interpersonal relationships with all these people count!    

Be a happy and joyful person – I know I’m responsible for my own happiness. This is a job that takes daily effort. Anyone can be happy and joyful, it just takes work. As most of you know I have Bipolar Disorder and I have some days that are better than others, but I have a choice to be happy and joyful or not. It takes effort. Also, I focus on what I’m in control of. There are certain things that are completely out of my control and I need to let those things go. That also helps me with my happiness. Another thing I do is I keep commitments to myself. When I keep commitments to myself, like writing in my journal, keeping my house clean, and being there for my daughters, this empowers me and gives me a feeling of self-worth which increases my happiness. I practice gratitude. I keep a gratitude journal every day. What I’m grateful for grows and this increases my happiness. I live for the present. I don’t dwell on the past and I don’t worry about the future. I LOVE the present and cherish the time I have right now! This increases my joy and happiness. I am secure in who I am. I don’t let others drag me down or let the things that others say about me (if they’re negative) get to me! I like to think of myself as “bulletproof”. My value is infinite and absolute! I view others with kindness. I try to be as loving as I can. When I try to focus on lifting other people up instead of worrying about myself, this increases my happiness. And finally, I try to laugh as much as I can! Laughter is the very best medicine! Norman Cousins who wrote Anatomy of an Illness said “Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.” So I suggest, laugh as much as you can!

Be a Woman of My Word – I learned a long time ago that it’s important that when you say you’re going to do something, you do it. It hurts when you’re counting on someone to do something for you and they don’t follow through. And for this reason, I have tried, and continue to try to be a woman of my word and do all I can to follow through on what I say I’m going to do and be.

Be Faithful – Sometimes this is the hardest thing in life to be. It takes a lot of faith sometimes when bad things happen to know that everything is going to be okay. But in my life, even after all of the trials, and I’m sure, all of you can say the same, having faith has brought you through, and things end up being okay. So having that never wavering faith, and always remembering that God is not going to give me anything more than I can handle, helps me to hold on.

Be Courageous – in times of pain and trials, to me it’s important to be courageous. My daughter Savannah is the ultimate example of courage. In two weeks she will be having her 27^th surgery. I remember (there are many things I have forgotten because of my TBI), but this I do remember, after her initial brain tumor was resected, it caused hydrocephalus and she was in the hospital and they were trying to get the levels of fluid regulated in her brain and she would get the excruciating headaches. They also had to come and draw blood every few hours and her veins were horrible (she took after me, unfortunately), and they had a horrible time getting blood from her and it seemed like she was in constant pain. I would sing to her the song from Finding Nemo – “Just keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming… Just keep Swimming, all night long.” and she would sing along and stop crying. It helped her to focus on something else other than the pain… She taught, and to this day teaches me so much about courage. She has been the ultimate example to me!

Those are just some of my “Want to Be” Bucket list items.

Please share your thoughts and your ideas in the section below. I’d love to hear what’s on your mind! And if you’ve come from the Brain Be Happy Notables Newsletter, don’t forget to go back and read the rest of the info!

Many hugs,

Cathleen

6 Simple Steps for Inspiration

Have you ever just wanted to create something with your hands but have had a mental block and although you know you want to create something, it’s just not coming to you? Have you been asked to speak at an upcoming event and been given a title, but have to come up with the “meat” of the subject and it’s just not there? Have you committed to writing a blog every week, but have run out of ideas for posts? Are you writing a book and you’ve promised your editor copy by such and such a date, but have writer’s block? Have you ever been assigned to teach a group something, but don’t know exactly how to teach it?

I know I’ve been in almost all of those scenarios and it’s not a fun place to be when inspiration seems nowhere to be found. So where do you get your inspiration? How does inspiration come to us? Doesn’t it feel so GREAT when you have figured out exactly how it is that you’re supposed to give that certain speech? Don’t you just feel awesome when you’re supposed to teach a lesson and all the pieces just all seem to fit together? INSPIRATION – true inspiration, is what I’d like to talk about today. I find JOY when I’m inspired. There are things we can do that allow us to be inspired, personally and professionally.

1. Having a positive attitude – when we forge ahead, working on a project with a positive attitude, it is only a positive outcome we will see. If I am working on a project and I’m dealing with angry, hurt or defensive emotions, nothing is going to come to me that will be worthwhile. Having that positive attitude gets the creative wheels-a-turning and the inspiration is more apt to happen.
2. Having a good sense of humor – in this life, there are so many times we have to be serious, or do we? I say, let’s look at things in a silly way! Let’s make a funny face out of the facts! How many times have you been taught a lesson by someone when they’re cracking jokes and you remember what they’re teaching because they are having fun and have a sense of humor vs. someone who teaches with all seriousness? Someone once said, “A sense of humor is an escape valve for the pressures of life.” I totally agree!
3. Staying quiet – sometimes while working on something and you’re having times of no inspiration, it is important to just stay quiet and listen… sometimes the answers are there and we are too noisy to notice the inspiration. The answers can be in nature. It could be by someone saying something around us. It could be a thought that comes to our mind but because we are being too noisy with our mouths we can’t hear with our ears. Just stay quiet.
4. Practicing good health – Exercise, reasonable amounts of sleep, and good eating habits increase our capacity to receive and understand inspiration.
5. Capturing your Dreams – keep a notebook by your bed! Inspiration can be given in a dream when there is an almost imperceptible transition from sleep to wakefulness. If you strive to capture the content immediately, you can record great detail, but otherwise it fades rapidly. Often times, dreams are very personal and when they are it makes it easier to understand and more likely to touch our hearts by teaching us through someone we love and respect. Make sure you capture these bits of inspiration by writing them down!
6. Trusting in your Higher Power – for me this is God. When He has our trust, He will guide us! Sometimes I find myself saying “But I can’t handle it!” Those are the times that I have to give in and I hear my Heavenly Father say, “Then give it to me, and I will handle it”. I have to remember that God didn’t put me here on earth to fail, but to succeed gloriously! He wants me to be inspired! He wants me to inspire others through my CREATIVITY and through this I find JOY!

Do you have a positive attitude? Do you have a good sense of humor? Are you listening intently? Do you practice good health? Are you capturing inspiration from your dreams? Do you trust in your Higher Power? If you’re practicing these things, the chances of you being inspired to create better works of art, better speeches, teach better lessons, write better blogs and books will greatly improve by implementing these six simple steps. Let me know if you practice any of these six simple steps and how they’ve worked for you. What other things inspire you? I’d love to know this too! I LOVE feedback! And for those of you who came here by way of Brain Be Happy Notables, don’t forget to go back and read the rest of the exciting info!

Many hugs,

Cathleen

A Week of Random Acts of Kindness

This past weekend at church, it was suggested that we have a week where we be involved in random acts of kindness. I LOVE that idea, a whole group of people working together to provide random acts of kindness! Can you imagine how many “feel goods” are going to take place this week?

My friend Mary shared a story of how she had been working on and focusing her time on random acts of kindness. She was at the grocery store during the 5 o’clock rush and she was in the 20-items-or-less check-out counter and the bagger was just talking her leg off and not moving very quickly. People behind her were getting a little annoyed but she just felt like she needed to listen to this man, so she did. She remembered her “random acts of kindness” project she had been working on and listened intently. As soon as he was done bagging her groceries, he said “Thank you so much for listening to me. My wife passed away a few months ago and I’ve been really lonely and haven’t had anyone to listen to me for quite a while. It meant a lot to me that you would listen to me.” Now that didn’t take my friend any money to do. It didn’t take her any excessive amount of time, and it meant the world to this man! You never know how you’re going to make a difference in someone’s life by providing these acts of service.

So today, I’m going to provide you with some ideas of how you might provide some random acts of service. There is also a really great website devoted to “random acts of kindness”. You might want to take a look. It’s www.randomactsofkindness.org.

Say “Good Morning”

Saying hello to someone even if you don’t know them, is a common courtesy. It means you are acknowledging their presence; you are saying that they are a person, too, and that they are important enough for you to say hello to.

Offer a Couple Hours of Free Babysitting to Parents

Many parents of young children can’t afford to go out as much as they like because they don’t have time, or can’t afford the added expense of a babysitter.

Help Someone for Free

It’s easy to put time and effort into tasks if we’re doing them for ourselves or getting paid to do them. But what about doing work for others when you aren’t getting paid? Why not do a job like mowing the lawn, cleaning the house or babysitting for someone, and surprise him or her by not charging?

Give Carepacks to Homeless

There are so many everyday accessories and toiletries we take for granted – toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, deodorant.

Hold the Door Open for Someone

Holding the door open for someone is something they just do in old movies, right? Guess again. Holding the door open is a polite and thoughtful act you can easily do for your family, friends and even strangers, every day. Whether you’re at school, the grocery store, at work, or at home, those around you will certainly appreciate your good manners.

Let Someone Go in Line in Front of You

With technology becoming more and more advanced, as a society we get used to doing everything as quick as possible and getting everything we want instantaneously. When we’re caught up in the fast-paced world of today, we often forget to stop to notice those around us. So next time you’re in a hurry in public, slow down and go out of your way to be courteous to everyone around you. When you’re standing in the checkout line, waiting to pay for your food at the grocery store or waiting to order your drink at a coffee shop, offer to let the person behind you go in front of you.

Make a New Friend Today

Introduce yourself to a stranger and strike up a conversation. Or, perhaps there is someone you’ve seen occasionally on the bus or in the neighborhood. Ask them how they’re doing.

Pay the Tab for the Person Behind You

Have you ever experienced kindness for someone you don’t know? Knowing that someone else noticed you can make your day a thousand times better, especially if you’re feeling down. Celebrate those around you by doing random acts of kindness for strangers, just for the sake of making someone else happy. Pay the tab for someone behind you in line at the grocery store, gas station or the drive-through. It doesn’t have to be costly, just friendly.

Write a Letter to Someone Who Made a Difference in Your Life

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~Albert Schweitzer.

Complain Less

If you enjoy the company of someone who’s positive, versus spending time with someone who complains, you’re not alone. You have probably experienced how being around someone who complains all the time can be draining and sometimes downright frustrating. But how often do you, yourself complain? If you find yourself complaining constantly, it can be an extremely hard habit to break. But when you do overcome it, you’ll be surprised at how much happier you and those around you will be.

Forgive Someone

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

We all make mistakes. The next time someone wrongs you, forgive them without hesitation. Carrying anger and resentment with you is bad for your health and your relationships. Learn to let it go and forgive others. Both you and the one you forgave will benefit from this act of kindness. You will be amazed at how much lighter you feel when you forgive someone!

Make Someone Laugh

You’ve probably heard the saying “Laughter is the best medicine.” Well, there’s a lot of evidence that this saying is actually true.

Those are some of my favorites. Go on over to www.randomactsofkindess.org and check out some other ideas and see some of the stories. Let me know how you create random acts of kindness and how it's made a difference in your life! I'd love to hear all your ideas! 

Many hugs,

Cathleen

p.s. Oh, yeah, if you've come here by way of the newsletter, don’t forget to go back there! There’s some more great info waiting for you!

Be Good to Yourself and Good to Others

For the past year I have been sending out “Happy Healers” to members of my Community of Healing. They are e-mails that I send once a week with random thoughts and suggestions on how to stay happy. Over the past year I have found many blogs and websites that offer many suggestions to keep one happy. Over the year, as I have read these blogs and websites and as I have done my own research, there are two themes that hold true throughout… 1) You must have self-care time and respect for yourself and 2) you need to be good to other people.

So, what are the things that you are doing for yourself each day to keep yourself happy? I know for myself, one of my most favorite things in the world to do for myself is to take time every morning to write in my journal. I spend 30 to 45 minutes writing. I write 2 pages of whatever is on my mind and then the last page is all about gratitude, because I’ve been taught that whatever I’m grateful for grows. I have seen this happen in my life. The more I write about gratitude, the more things I have to write about!

There are many other things that I do throughout the day to keep me happy and to keep my JOY alive, but what about you? What brings you JOY when you’re taking care of yourself?

Now, as for being good to others… There are so many things we can do to help others! Helping others begins with my family. I get up at 5:00 am to help my daughter get ready for school and get her off to school. To me, this IS Joy! I then help my husband get his breakfast before he scoots out the door to work. That too brings me Joy. From there I try throughout my day to be involved in “Random Acts of Kindness”… This always brings me JOY! What about you? What brings you happiness as you help others?

Below is a fun little graphic that I’ve created to give us some ideas about “How we can Scatter Sunshine” to help us live happier and more JOYfilled lives. Click on it and it should open into a new screen so you can see it in a larger view... Leave a comment below and let me know what you’re doing to keep the sunshine burning bright in your lives!

Many hugs,

Cathleen


p.s Don't forget to click back to the e-zine to read the rest of the info! Don't want you to miss out on anything :-)

Life' Curves in the road

November 18th I was on a coaching chat with one of my amazing clients and as she wrote back a chat to me nothing she wrote to me made any sense... I told my husband that I didn't understand what was she had written and he said, "just tell her that you're having some confusion, as happens every once in a while from my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), or so I thought, and that you'll have to talk to her later.". I told him he didn't understand... I told him I couldn't write her back. I didn't know why, I just couldn't. Usually when this happens, if I do something, like coloring, or doodling, to get the right side of my brain active, things in my brain seem to work themselves out and the confusion subsides and within a few minutes to an hour I'm okay again, but this time was different. I couldn't color, I got sick to my stomach and within just a few minutes I realized I couldn't talk. Before I knew it my husband was rushing me to the hospital, it was all a blur and come to find out I had a TIA, or a Transient Ischemic Attack, also known as a mini stroke. My symptoms lasted for about 3 hours but seemed like about 30 minutes to me. 

This mini stroke was a big wake up call for me... My perspective on life changed and the things that I was putting emphasis on changed as well. There were things in my life that I had started that I hadn't finished and things I hadn't done that I wanted to do. I was also warned that this could be a precursor to a major stroke and that scared me as well. One of the projects that I had started before I had suffered my TBI and lost my memory is I had started to make a pieced queen sized quilt for my mom. When I found it after I lost my memory, I was amazed that I had done it. I had hand quilted 4 of the 25 12X12 pieces that still needed to hand quilted and I still needed to bind it. With Google's help, I relearned how to quilt and I just finished it a few days ago. Here are some pics of it...

I have spent the last 3 weeks undergoing several tests and the tests will continue this week... Nothing has been found yet but as I met with a neurologist last week he suspended my driving privileges. That was a real kick in the pants for me. That was taking away one of the things that was a big independence thing for me. I have a hard time relying on others for help and like to take care of things by myself. So there was a lesson for me to learn here. 

You see, there is not one day that goes by where I don’t go somewhere in the car. Our daughter Savannah has been having seizures for the past couple of months and I usually have to go to her school every day to pick her up because of the seizures and then there are the weekly errands that have to be run, and the doctor appointments, and now with the holidays, there is Christmas shopping and it’s just a busy time of the year.

I knew not being able to drive  was going to put a lot of pressure on my husband and it was going to cause him to have to leave work on a daily basis to pick Savannah up and that he would have to take time out of his busy schedule to do the things that I normally do and initially that was really stressing me out…

The night that my license had been taken away, after everyone had gone to bed I sat there in the dark with the Christmas tree lit and thought “Why am I not crying about all that has been thrown at me?” Savannah’s seizures, the mini-stroke, the doctor's not being able to find any answers for me, now my license being taken away from me… And then it came to me. The answer was simple. I had made the decision several months ago to choose JOY. Because I had made that decision, nothing that was put in my path was going to get me down.

Although I may have frustration about all these things there is a bright side to everything…

• Savannah’s seizures are psychogenic and are treated with ART Therapy and right brain therapy, which is something I've been studying for a long time now and I teach to my clients… I know how to help her and I know how to train those who work with her. That has been a blessing.
• When it comes to weekly errands, it just forces me to be more organized and to think through things a little more so that Steven can make one trip instead of several small trips to get things done…
• As for Christmas shopping, I’ve found some great deals online, and I don’t have to go out and fight the crowds and I can even save money in gas.
• I now have more quality time at home to focus on what really matters...

Those are just a few ways that I’ve chosen to look on the bright side of life with the circumstances that have been thrown my way.

How have you chosen to look at life? Is it going to be a win-win situation and can you look at things with a JOYfilled attitude?

Are you doing things in your life that make a difference and are you prepared if something traumatic happens? I know that I want to be prepared.!

Love and hugs to all!

Cathleen

Joy & Smiles

Sometimes we are so busy with our daily issues and problems, that we forget to live - to live and to enjoy our lives, to share our happiness, to see the beauty of the world. We grow older and we forget what it means to be 

childlike. I don't think that is the way it should be.

Let's forget all these unimportant things that make us so unhappy. Let's become honest and sincere, let's open our hearts and let the child inside of us have some fun!

Today is the Day of Joy. Smile, enjoy, be happy and share your joy with the others.

The Day of Joy is a good way to remind us that life is really beautiful and an enjoyable thing.

The Day of Joy is a good way to remind us that sometimes even our sole smile can change the life and light up someone’s day.

The Day of Joy is a great way to understand that sharing your love and happiness is the most pleasant feeling ever.

1. Don’t put a smile on you - be a Smile :)

Everybody should print a symbol Smile, put it onto a badge and wear it during The Day of Joy but your best contribution to The Day of Joy will be a smile inside of you – and on your face .

2. Make at least 5 other people smile

Share this idea with everyone you know. Each of them should make 5 other people smile too.  Why 5 people? It’s a number that makes me smile. You can give your smile and share your joy to as many people as you wish. Even one smile will make our world much happier.

When was the last time you smiled at a stranger. Remember that a generous heart is always a happy heart. Remember that your warm words and a sincere smile are the most precious gifts.

Make this Day of Joy a daily tradition. It would be great if we could all understand that our lives can change in a single moment with a single smile. And I hope that after reading this post you will smile and pass your smile on to someone else.

Sending Hugs for a Joyous Day!

Cathleen