Who is Your Mom?

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. It is a day of celebration, in every way! We all have something to celebrate when it comes to Mother’s day. For those of you who are men, this is for you too. Read on.

Are you a Mom? The role of Mother has changed over the years. Let’s take TV as an example. Not too long ago, Mom was the norm. She played the role so elegantly, first in pearls opening the door to greet the hubby, with a homemade meal. Then remember the brady’s? Three girls were hers, three boys were his. Then there was the single mom on “One Day at a Time”. As the years went by, the family, as in real life, changed. Now NBC's "Parenthood," a show about parenthood, stars four women who are not mothers in real life -- another true reflection of what you can find here in America.

According to Melanie Notkin in her book 'Savvy Auntie: The Ultimate Guide for Cool Aunts, Great-Aunts, Godmothers, and All Women Who Love Kids', Motherhood in America has changed. In fact, nearly 50 percent of American women are not moms, up from 35 percent in 1976. Forty-six percent of women ages 25 to 29 don't have children, a steep rise from 31 percent in the mid 70s. And nearly one-fifth of women ages 40 to 44 have not given birth, nearly double the rate of 10 percent that we saw 35 years ago.

While the hard Census data does not qualify this radical change in the adult female landscape, we do know that it's not an assault on so-called family values. Modern women don't have children, or have them later in life, for a variety of valid reasons, most of which have to do with choice. Some are waiting for love. Some are not in love with men. Some believe motherhood is not for them. Some are on the fence. And others are just not there yet. Of course, for some, fertility is not a choice within their control. But rarely are women not mothers because they don't believe in family.

It's time for a remix. If we look with a modern eye at family the way it was just a few centuries ago, when grandmothers, aunts, cousins and other villagers helped raise the village's children, we'd see clearly that while half of America's women have not begun immediate families of their own, they are contributing invaluably to families around them.

Ironically, it's TV-star moms who are beginning to see what really shapes the family landscape in America. Tori Spelling, mother, actress , bestselling author and star of a series about family on the Oxygen Network, was literally brought to tears when Melanie  asked her last year about how important the aunts and "Guncles" are to her family. She doesn't know what she would do without the adoring grown-ups in her children's lives, she told me.

And just recently, Amy Poehler, working mom and star of NBC's "Parks and Recreation," got uncharacteristically serious for a moment at the end of her Time 100 acceptance speech at the Gala on April 26. She took time to recognize the women in her life, her village:

“And for you working women ... who get to do what you get to do because there are wonderful people who help you ... Those are people who love your children as much as you do, and who inspire them and influence them, and on behalf of every sister ... and person who stands in your kitchen and helps you love your child, I say 'thank you,' and I celebrate you tonight.”

Half of American women were celebrated that night, thanks to Amy.

Just about every woman has a child in her life, by relation or by choice, whom she loves and adores. Every boo-boo she kisses, every little hand she holds, every hug she gives is a gift to that family. And every time a PANK® (Professional Aunt No Kids) stays late so a mom can leave early to attend to a sick child, or takes on double the work when a new mom is on maternity leave, she's contributing to the national American Family Village.

These Savvy Aunties are not childless. They are childfull; they choose to love the children they know and give to children around the nation -- and around the world.

It's time to embrace all the maternal women in a child's life this Mother's Day. It's time to open the door and welcome Auntie in.

I second everything that Melanie has to say! I absolutely LOVE my Mom, but I also adore those women in my life who have helped to take care of my children, and me as I was growing up!

I’m sure there are women who have touched your life in one way or another who deserve a great big THANK YOU tomorrow on Mother’s Day! Take the time to give them a BIG hug and do something special for them.

Hugs,

Cathleen

Your Eyes and Your Smile

Can you see heaven in someone else's eyes? I truly believe that your eyes are the windows to heaven! I want people to know that when they look into my eyes, they will be looking into a future heaven. I want them to know that I see the good in them and the good in me, that what is in my heart and in my eyes could, if possible, take them straight to heaven - that is pure positive energy. You have the opportunity every day and every minute to share positive energy with everyone you interact with. Why not let it be in the sincere way you look at them, with love in your heart - for everyone.

Regarding your smile healing a million souls... Is that possible? I truly believe it is. Smiles are contagious! I make it a habit to smile at everyone I see. How good does it feel when someone smiles at you? I know for me a smile brightens any mood that I'm in. If I'm having a somewhat difficult day, a simple smile will help to lift my mood. If I'm having a really bad day, my mood is helped tremendously. If I'm already feeling great, it makes me want to go out and spread more joy around. 

So, what is your sweet face telling people today? Are you aware of what you're telling people as you go throughout your day? I challenge you, and will challenge myself as well, to keep my eyes wide open with love, and smile the biggest smiles I can to everyone I come into contact with!

Sending many hugs and smiles your way,

Cathleen

Time Traveling at the Speed of Love

Eight years ago, my sweet Savannah was diagnosed with a Craniopharyngioma, a benign brain tumor, that destroyed everything in it's path. Many doctors told us there was a slim chance that she would make it through the surgery and if she did, they didn't know what the outcome would be. Hydrocephalus had already set in and things didn't look good. She was diagnosed on May 3, 2003 and her 9 hour surgery took place on May 10, 2003. They said if she did wake up after the surgery it would be several days after the surgery, however within an hour after the surgery, she was trying to sit up and wanted to know when they were going to do the surgery :-). What a blessing! Although the past 8 years have been a challenge for our family, we still have Savannah with us and that is truly a blessing!

The reason I'm writing about this, is I just read an article that brought back the memories of those days before her surgery. I wanted to share it with you all. It touched my heart and I hope it does the same for you!

Love and hugs,
Cathleen

Time Traveling at the Speed of Love
by Marney K. Makridakis

I usually write the article for the Artellagram newsletter right before it goes out, but this time I'm writing and queuing it's send-out a week in advance. Typically, this probably wouldn't seem so odd…for most of us, it's a pretty safe bet that anything we write right now will still be true a week from now. In our everyday lives, the gap between the present and the immediate future seems small and imperceptibly insignificant. We're used to this fluidity from present to future; it comforts us, and protects us from being too fearful of change.

My two-year-old son Kai will be having major surgery in a few days, a total cranial reconstruction to rebuild his skull so his brain can grow properly. So, in this particular moment, the juxtaposition between the present and future seems at once both blurry and sharply jagged, like a young child's drawing of a ferocious and absurd dinosaur. By the time you read this message, the surgery will be complete, so writing this message right now feels a bit surreal, as I'm looking straight into the blinding light of the future's fragile unknown.

And yet, is this moment any different from ANY other moment, really? Physical science dictates that we can see everyday objects because of the light that is reflected onto them. If we look directly into the light source itself, our vision is distorted, and all we see are vague shapes, shadows, and outlines.

It's the same thing with time. Of course, we actually never know what the next moment will bring; the future can never be more than an outline. We don’t know what might happen that could change everything in an instant. When we can wrap our heads around this, we slowly come to realize that as much time as we spend worrying about it, the future really isn’t what truly matters most of all. In fact, what matters by far over anything else, is living for and living in these moments around us.

While making plans for the future certainly has its place, it is when we begin to stare longingly into the future's light, instead of looking lovingly at what's right in front of us, that we begin to take life for granted. I know I have often struggled with this myself, and the best way I know to avoid this and to keep focused on the beauty of what today offers, is to focus on love. For me, especially these days with his big surgery days away, it’s my love for Kai that instantly brings me back to these sparkly, shimmering moments at hand. But we don’t need an urgent health matter to do this all the time. You can have simple sweet love for a favorite pen you use to write in your journal, or a favorite place to walk, or even the smell of the air right before and after it rains.

A few evenings ago, after Kai was asleep, I was reading an essay about time and perception, and I read a line that said, "The measurement of time depends on the speed at which you move." Well, I mis-read it, and thought it said, "The measurement of time depends on the speed at which you love." I laughed to myself, closed the book, and pulled Kai's baby monitor close to my ear, and did nothing but listen to him breathe. Now, if the measurement of time did in fact depend on the ‘speed’ at which I was loving him just then, then there’s a good chance the clocks went haywire, and I’m actually writing this letter to you from a point far off in the future.

Hopefully back on earth in 2010, you too can travel at the speed of love for those dearest to you, and fly to the ends of the universe in your own cozy time machine :-)

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Marney K. Makridakis is the founder of ArtellaLand.com and the inventor of the ARTbundance Philosophy, which usesARTsignments™ to change lives through the power of creativity.   If you are intrigued by the idea of exploring a new vision for yourself in which you apply the ARTbundance™ philosophy andARTsignments™ to your own professional dreams and goals, you are invited to apply for the next ARTbundance™ Certification Training (ACT), beginning in April 2011.

Wonder Woman Super Powers

Wednesday night I attended a teleconference sponsored/given by Marney Makridakis, founder/creator of Artellaland.

It was a really awesome class! One thing that Marney told us was that as she was doing her research, putting this class together, she found that Wonder Woman's power's (from the old comic books) came from "Love" and her lasso was powered by "truth". Isn't that awesome?

I love finding out little trivia tidbits out like that. I know it might be useless, but hey, maybe it just makes me feel good, and I look for anything in this world to make me feel good.

The main idea of this class was we should use LOVE to get things done (doing more of what we love, loving more of what we do). It was pretty awesome. Marney is pretty awesome! And no, I'm not getting paid to say this... She gave an example of doing daily things, like laundry. How can we put "love" into doing laundry. Well, if I think about how nice the clean clothes will feel on my husband and my daughter and how nice they will look with clean fresh clothes, I'm doing this "chore" with love instead of another "have to" place that I usually come from. It puts a whole new spin on things.

So, what are some things that you do every day that you don't really like to do but they still have to get done? How can you put "love" into the equation and make those chores more painless? I hope this helps. It's definitely helped me to see a brighter side, one more time :-)...