Remember the movie The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and
Morgan Freeman? It went like this: Corporate billionaire Edward Cole and
working class mechanic Carter Chambers had nothing in common except for their
terminal illnesses. While sharing a hospital room together, they decide to
leave it and do all the things they have ever wanted to do before they die
according to their bucket list. In the process, both of them heal each other,
become unlikely friends, and ultimately find joy in life. Since then many
people have come up with their own “bucket lists” and in fact, I was involved
in a LinkedIN Bucket List that a member on a “TED Group” started. He was trying
to make it the world’s largest collaborative bucket list.
But what if we changed the bucket list into something
different? What if we made the bucket list into who we want to become vs. what
we want to do in life? How would that change things? This was a question that
was asked of me this past weekend and I’ve put a lot of thought into it. I’m
guessing at this moment you might have some thoughts about this too…
Here are some of the things that are on my bucket list of
who I want to become (and who I hope I already am). You may have similar wants
and you may have additional wants. This is where it gets fun! Not every person
is the same and that’s what makes it so interesting! So in the comments section
below, I think it would be great fun to hear everyone’s top ideas of who they
want to become or already are!
Now on to my list:
Be a GREAT
person in all my interpersonal relationships – to me this means being an AMAZING mom, a SUPPORTIVE and LOVING wife, an AWESOME grandma, a daughter parents can be PROUD of, a sister who can be COUNTED ON, and a TRUE friend.
Sometimes interpersonal relationships can be tricky and can take a lot of
effort on our part. I can remember growing up and thinking my best friend was
the most important person in my life to me. We did everything together and
nothing could come between us. To this day we are still friends. There was a
time during my courtship with my husband where my total focus was on him and
nothing and no one else and all other relationships were set aside (I’m
embarrassed to say!) As I’ve grown older I’ve found a balance between all my
interpersonal relationships. I LOVE the time I spend being a mom! I LOVE the
time I have being a wife, a daughter, a GRANDMA, a sibling and a friend! I
think it’s important to find the right balance and to make every moment we
spend in our interpersonal relationships with all these people count!
Be a
happy and joyful person – I know I’m
responsible for my own happiness. This is a job that takes daily effort.
Anyone can be happy and joyful, it just takes work. As most of you know I have
Bipolar Disorder and I have some days that are better than others, but I have a
choice to be happy and joyful or not. It takes effort. Also, I focus on what I’m in control of. There
are certain things that are completely out of my control and I need to let
those things go. That also helps me with my happiness. Another thing I do is I keep commitments to myself. When I
keep commitments to myself, like writing in my journal, keeping my house clean,
and being there for my daughters, this empowers me and gives me a feeling of
self-worth which increases my happiness. I
practice gratitude. I keep a gratitude journal every day. What I’m grateful
for grows and this increases my happiness. I
live for the present. I don’t dwell on the past and I don’t worry about the
future. I LOVE the present and cherish the time I have right now! This increases
my joy and happiness. I am secure in who
I am. I don’t let others drag me down or let the things that others say
about me (if they’re negative) get to me! I like to think of myself as
“bulletproof”. My value is infinite and absolute! I view others with kindness. I try to be as loving as I can. When I
try to focus on lifting other people up instead of worrying about myself, this
increases my happiness. And finally, I
try to laugh as much as I can! Laughter is the very best medicine! Norman
Cousins who wrote Anatomy of an Illness said “Hearty laughter is a good way to
jog internally without having to go outdoors.” So I suggest, laugh as much as
you can!
Be a
Woman of My Word – I learned a long time ago that it’s important that when you
say you’re going to do something, you do it. It hurts when you’re counting on
someone to do something for you and they don’t follow through. And for this
reason, I have tried, and continue to try to be a woman of my word and do all I
can to follow through on what I say I’m going to do and be.
Be Faithful – Sometimes this is the hardest thing in life to be. It takes a lot of
faith sometimes when bad things happen to know that everything is going to be
okay. But in my life, even after all of the trials, and I’m sure, all of you
can say the same, having faith has brought you through, and things end up being
okay. So having that never wavering faith, and always remembering that God is
not going to give me anything more than I can handle, helps me to hold on.
Be Courageous – in times of pain and trials, to me it’s important to be
courageous. My daughter Savannah is the ultimate example of courage. In two
weeks she will be having her 27th surgery. I remember (there are
many things I have forgotten because of my TBI), but this I do remember, after
her initial brain tumor was resected, it caused hydrocephalus and she was in
the hospital and they were trying to get the levels of fluid regulated in her
brain and she would get the excruciating headaches. They also had to come and
draw blood every few hours and her veins were horrible (she took after me,
unfortunately), and they had a horrible time getting blood from her and it
seemed like she was in constant pain. I would sing to her the song from Finding
Nemo – “Just keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming… Just keep Swimming, all night
long.” and she would sing along and stop crying. It helped her to focus on
something else other than the pain… She taught, and to this day teaches me so
much about courage. She has been the ultimate example to me!
Those are
just some of my “Want to Be” Bucket list items.
Please share
your thoughts and your ideas in the section below. I’d love to hear what’s on
your mind! And if you’ve come from the Brain Be Happy Notables Newsletter, don’t
forget to go back and read the rest of the info!
Many hugs,
Cathleen
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